musings
by superbanana
Summary: Just a random oneshot on how suzy feels about things. A bit of SuzyxArthur at the end. Sorry couldn't resist and a bit angsty


A/N: I was just thinking about what Suzy feels about her life and stuff : ) it's a bit angst so I gave you warning.

Suzy Turquoise Blue, stared into the dull white walls. Dame Primus would send someone in a while, once they noticed that she had given up on today's chores. She was getting memory pains. They seemed to be getting more frequent these days, but maybe it was always like this, she might not have got those memories back yet. That's what she hated so much about the washing behind the ears. It wasn't the forgetting as such. It was the not knowing if you remembered everything. She might still have thousands of memories locked up somewhere in her mind and never know it. But she was remembering and that was the important thing. She was remembering before she came to the house. Or at least she thought it was before.

Suzy had loved the city. She had loved the crowds and the fact that you were never alone. She had loved her mother, who even when sick with her strange fever, would sing to her and her brothers and sisters and tell them stories of pirates. She had loved her father, who was gruff and brusque at times, but was very wise to her young eyes and always smelt slightly musky. She had loved her oldest brother, Martin, who had gone away to join the Navy but had come back to tell her about amazing, and foreign places, that she had wished she could have seen.

Suzy had loved her life, she had been exactly where she was wanted to be. But it seemed that fate had a different future in mind. That future came in the guise of a tall, dark haired man. This man seemed to cast all others into shadow. Suzy's older sisters and the village woman, who came to gossip with her mother, who had already began to wane under the new fevers ministrations, had whispered about him in awed tones. Suzy had been too young to see him in that light but she had noticed that he was beautiful. Not like a women's beauty, nor like any man she had ever met, (and she knew most men within 4 streets by sight) he was completely alien, but to her at least there was something slightly off with him.

She had never spoken to him, he never stayed very long though. She wondered how he got past the soldiers, because she couldn't they had always made her turn around. She couldn't remember when the soldiers had turned up exactly, but she vaguely thought she could remember her mother falling down and her and her siblings half lifting, half dragging her up the stairs to bed and waiting for their father to come home, she remembered that as they pulled her mother up she had coughed and a small droplet of blood had escaped her mothers mouth to travel down her chin.

Then more people had got ill and then one day, her mother had taken down her best coat and wrapped her up in it. She hadn't understood why her mother had forced her sick body outside, in the smog to kiss her cheek, or why her father had gruffly handed her sixpence and walked away without saying goodbye. Suzy had been scared until more children had appeared, from everywhere they had come, some were holding small boxes held by string and others were just staring aimlessly at people faces.

There had been confusion and much jostling and then from somewhere in the midst of the panicking mob came a shrill wail. This seemed to pierce through every other noise there was complete silence. Even now Suzy felt the chill as she heard in her minds ear as the poor unnamed child sobbed and wailed then the cry was met by another equally pitiful sob and then another, then another until the grief and fear of their abandonment was all anyone could imagine or think about. Even Suzy, who _never _cried, felt a lump in her throat.

And after the tears- there was nothing, except for the smog and the sea of frightened children, until a noise rose up into the evening air. A whisper in Suzy's ear, a sigh of relief masked by the darkness, almost unreal except that it would not go away. And then he was there, The Piper, although she did not know him by that name then.

He wore a fine brown cloak that hid most of his clothing from them but when he stepped forward his brightly coloured leggings, showed through. He seemed to be trying to be jolly but he reminded her of the fools in the stories that her mother had told her, so very long ago. She felt a small thrill of fear but then he spoke and she was lost. He said in a voice as light as air but as powerful as God calling from the heavens "Little children, why are you so sad? Smile for me my little children, Shall I sing for you little mortals? Shall I dance?" He had smiled as though enjoying a private joke at these words, but Suzy had barely noticed for at the sound of his voice it was as though a shutter had gone down in her mind and all that mattered was his voice and she would do anything to her such a voice again. Anything.

He moved his hands to his cloak and pulled from an inside pocket a set of pan piped that glittered almost painfully, even though the day was overcast and dusk was creeping over the world. He slowly lifted the pipes to his lips and blew. The effect was immediate, every child stood up straight, their eyes dreamily vague. He began to walk away and the children followed, more like walking corpses than young children. Every now and again the piper would stop and turn to say something like "Come, come young mortals follow The Piper" or "Quicken now my little ones, don't stop the door is nearly upon us."

They walked for ever and she thought she saw more join from the sides, but from where they came from she did not care much, just as long as he kept playing everything would be fine but if he stopped terrible things would happen. And then there was a strange sensation started around her knees and the world seemed to change. She stepped forward a strange purple sun warmed her face and the skin that showed through her tights which had holes everywhere she looked up and -

She lost it then, the mental thread of memory that she had been following. She knew what must have happened though, too much moving, too much forgetting, remembering and forgetting again. Too much life. Then of course Arthur had turned up and she began to remember what had long been though to have been washed away. And this time she refused to forget it, Dame Primus sometimes used washing behind the ears as a threat but she would never do it, and even if they did do it she would remember again, she vowed, she would see her mothers face again, smell the musty smell of her fathers skin when he had hugged her. She would never fall under The Piper again. She would help Arthur. Arthur who was becoming to her more than a friend even though she dare not admit it, least of all to herself, she wouldn't ever forget Arthur either she thought violently.

There was a noise and Mondays noon (who used to be dusk) walked in to stare at her for a moment. Then in his still light voice he said "Suzy, something has happened to Lord Arthur, I require your assistance, follow me. " and with that he swept out of the room again.

Suzy leapt up from her bed and smiled, Arthur was in trouble, Arthur would need her help. Now was the time for action, she would think about this another time.


End file.
